Tom, Certified Passionate Professional

Foods from March 14th. Might have a small snack when I get home...

Mon, 14 Mar 2011 18:24:15 -0400

Foods from March 14th. Might have a small snack when I get home after work but that’ll be it.

Great article on work in general

Wed, 16 Jun 2010 13:19:34 -0400

Great article on work in general

Was I really ready for this organic experience?

Sun, 06 Jun 2010 16:19:43 -0400

Was I really ready for this organic experience?:

From Saturday’s Globe and Mail Published on Friday, Jun. 04, 2010 11:36AM EDT Last updated on Sunday, Jun. 06, 2010 11:06AM EDT From Saturday’s Globe and Mail Published on Friday, Jun. 04, 2010 11:36AM EDT Last updated on Sunday, Jun. 06, 2010 11:06AM EDT When we stepped off the train in Sinalunga – a small town in Tuscany that boasts a grocery store and not much else – it was gloomy and wet and we were in Ugo’s way. “Are those Canadian flags real? Or are you imposters?”

(via Instapaper)

Nothing Is Something

Wed, 02 Jun 2010 12:38:01 -0400

As I walked from the train today, I asked myself “What can I do to achieve my goals today?”

The answer is nothing.

But that’s not a bad answer.

We always want to do something. When I was trying to lose weight before, I’d try to exercise a lot, without changing my diet. When I tried to save money, I’d buy things which I thought would finally solve all my problems and mean I wouldn’t have to buy any more things.

I’ll give you two guesses how both of those worked out.

So today I decided I will do nothing to further my goals. I feel like that should be nothing with a capital N, more Nothing. I will not buy something I don’t need (as this has been a stressful week and that’s a normal outlet) and I will not go eat something unhealthy (another normal outlet). Instead I will do Nothing. I will work hard at my job, rejoice in using my iPad (which I’m typing this on, by the by) and then go home and relax.

Actually I’ll go out for drinks with a friend whom I had mixed up dates with. But really, nothing spectacular.

I always want to do something to solve my problems. Action is, sometimes, easier than inaction. It feels better. But in terms of my goals, right now, inaction is the best choice.

How You Can Live Like A Vulcan Without Bleeding Green

Tue, 01 Jun 2010 19:02:52 -0400

How You Can Live Like A Vulcan Without Bleeding Green:

Need I say more?

(via Instapaper)

Apple vs. Microsoft: Embrace the Zeitgeist -- Seeking Alpha

Mon, 31 May 2010 17:32:06 -0400

Apple vs. Microsoft: Embrace the Zeitgeist -- Seeking Alpha:

Unique perspective on Apple v. Microsoft.

(via Instapaper)

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World Trailer 2 - HOLY CRAP

Mon, 31 May 2010 08:17:50 -0400

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World Trailer 2 - HOLY CRAP

An Atypical Week

Sun, 30 May 2010 22:21:02 -0400

I would say it’s been an atypical week, for the following reasons:

1. It was a 3-day week, due to the long weekend and my choice to take a day off on Friday.

2. We had to put one the household cats, Nipper, to sleep this week. It wasn’t totally out of the blue; he’s had a host of health problems for years and was nearly 17. That’s pretty old for a cat. It happened in the best possible way; we caught an oncoming health problem before he was in any pain. But he had been in my life, even if he wasn’t really my cat, for nearly 17 years. That’s longer than I’ve had most of my friends. He will be missed.

3. I got an iPad, in case you don’t follow me on Twitter or really don’t know me at all. I’m writing this from it, with the assistance of a Bluetooth keyboard.

4. I was made fun of, in public, by a random passerby, for the first time in years. For my weight, truth be told.

Number 4 was a very surreal experience. It’s not the first time…actually, it might be. First time since high school anyway. I ignored it. Plain and simple. Gave no indication I had even heard the guy. He continued to yell as I walked away, not specifically at me, basically saying “Look at that guy!”

I play it over in my head and wonder if I made the right call, but I know I did. I was with people and it would have been totally rude and crazy of me to make a scene and yell back. And any kind of physical confrontation is way outside of anything I’d ever do.

I didn’t see the guy, so maybe he was really young. Maybe he was high. Some base part of me argues I should have “manned up” and started a confrontation with the guy. But what would have been the point? He would have learned…what? Not to “mess” with me? I was in an area I will likely never be again. I will never see him again. Not to mention I would have drawn my companions into something unpleasant.

It bothers me. But really, the lesson to be learned here is that we can be better than that. That there will always be people who will do idiotic shit and there will always be people who will yell random shit at you as you walk by just for a laugh or just to make themselves feel better. I’m starting to sound like an after-school special here, but it’s true. The key is how you deal with it and what you take from it.

I choose to take that something about me made him feel like he needed to take me down a peg. Like he needed to assert his superiority over me and debase me to feel better about himself. Which means that deep down, he felt I was better than him, or felt that I thought I was better than him. Something about the way I walked by said that I was someone better.

And that’s a fucking good thing.

Now maybe that’s not the truth. Maybe he saw someone he thought was an easy target, maybe he just wanted a laugh. Hell, to be honest, I’m not even 100% sure he was talking about me, though otherwise the timing would have been uncanny. But I will never know. It’s a shitty situation, and when life gives you lemons…

…you clone those lemons, and make SUPERLEMONS!

Or make the best of a bad situation/lemonade.

Both are good.

A perfect afternoon.

Mon, 24 May 2010 16:44:11 -0400

A perfect afternoon.

What cost independence?

Sun, 16 May 2010 21:03:24 -0400

I have a confession to make, dear reader.

My name is Tom. I’m 25 and I live with my parents.

Every time I say that I think of the Seinfeld episode where George does everything in the opposite manner he would normally. He says that to a woman (but adds in that he’s unemployed; happily, I am not) and she replies “I’m Victoria, hi” in a sultry voice.

Mind you, I don’t often say that as an opening line with girls. Or really anything as a line. My opening line would be more along the lines of “Hi.”

Anyway.

What I want to write about today are my own choices in life, and why I live with my parents.

Basically, up until…maybe a few months ago I didn’t really understand money. Throughout university things were taken care of for me, and after university I just moved back here because I hadn’t worked much during university and what money I had made, I spent. A lot. I have horrible spending habits and it’s only in the last few months that I’ve learned to control them. I was always waiting for my income to increase to the point that it would eventually cover my habits. But it doesn’t work that way. As my income increased, my tastes got more expensive.

My parents have been great, and through the course of my life they’ve always been there to help me out when I needed it. And really if I said to them I’d like to stay here until I’m ready to move out and get married, they’d be fine with that.

I wouldn’t be, though.

I had always said that I couldn’t afford to move out right now. I’ve had the job I’m in now for almost six months, and at the outset of it I knew the experience would be great, but it would not really be enough to move out. I had that set in my mind; I was not making enough to move out. It wasn’t until a friend pointed out to me that she moved out while making a lot less than I did that it made me start to think.

Could I do this?

So I started to look and crunch the numbers on my take home pay, rent for a half-decent place, a rough estimate of utilities and the expenses I would expect to incur every month.

I was actually more than a bit shocked to learn it was doable.

I mean I’d be living a very different life than I was living now. No more Brooks Brothers shirts, far less eating out, no more buying shows off iTunes willy-nilly (I worked out that a DVR would actually be a cheaper option, monthly). I had always said to people that I could live very comfortably, for now, with my parents, or subsist on Kraft Dinner in a roach-infested basement apartment. I was amazed to learn that, if I ~~paid~~ played my cards right, I’d be able to do this.

And I want to. Because I am embarrassed to live with my parents.

This is not to say anything against those of you who do. Good on you, really. It is definitely a smart financial move and would be the smartest thing for me to do right now. Save up, live comfortably, have meals cooked and laundry done and then, someday in the distance when I land that perfect job, I can move out.

But when is that? Really?

I love my parents dearly, but living in close quarters with anyone for any long period of time is tough. I lived with 5 of the best people possible in university, but at the end of those 3 years we were definitely getting on each other’s nerves. It doesn’t help that, as mentioned before, I am a massive introvert and need my space. Being here 24/7 is starting to wear on me a bit.

I’d be relying on getting a higher paying job within the next year, as just about any place would essentially be outside my range right now without eating in to savings a bit. I’d have to start putting aside rent now, when I have fewer expenses, and essentially use that when I move out to cover my rent and use my regular paycheques to cover expenses. I’d be living pretty close to paycheque to paycheque until I started making more money.

My choice now is, is it worth it? Is the independence and the feeling of being your own man worth it? I haven’t decided yet. I could also take all that money I’m saving and go for yoga teacher training in India, or do Thailand for 2 weeks and still have a ton left over.

But that means coming home to a room and a house not my own. That means having that awkward, slightly embarrassing conversation any time I start talking to a girl where I mention I live with my parents. I’m always relieved if I find someone else who does. It’s like we share the same issue.

Of course there’s also the fact that I’m in Mississauga and that puts a huge damper on my social life.

For now, I’m planning on a move-out date in November. Gives me lots of time to save up, start buying a few of the things I need and start looking for a place.

But what do you think? Is it worth it?

Peter Serafinowicz on Piracy

Sat, 15 May 2010 07:53:08 -0400

Peter Serafinowicz on Piracy:

Solid article. Hits it on the nail.

"When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead. True story."

Wed, 12 May 2010 19:24:34 -0400

“When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead. True story.”

- Barney Stinson

Crazy article on WWII Spies

Tue, 04 May 2010 08:21:09 -0400

Crazy article on WWII Spies:

Long, but read the first bit. Crazy stuff!

Old Habits Are Zombies

Sun, 02 May 2010 10:23:27 -0400

Yesterday I wrote the NPPA, or National Professional Practice Assessment. This is a test for HR people to determine if they have the judgment and skills necessary to be Certified HR Professionals, or CHRPs. I feel like I passed it, but with multiple choice, I’m never really sure.

But in keeping with my recent themes, that’s not really what I’m here to talk about.

Friday and Saturday I returned to my old eating habits, very, very quickly. I was eating whatever I could get my hands on that would be tasty and wonderful and satisfy my stress of having a huge test tomorrow that I’d dropped a lot of money to write. In ways I expected this, but I was also amazed at how quickly I dropped back into those bad eating habits. I thought those were behind me, they were dead and gone.

But no. They’re not. Just below the surface, they lurk.

That’s not the end of the world, though. Cause I felt generally crappy, physically on Friday and pretty horrible on Saturday. I actually thought to myself “I used to eat like this?” Because really, Saturday would have been a perfectly normal day for me a few months ago. Fried foods and crap in general. I felt horrible; I had a stomach ache, a head ache and just could not do anything. I came home, mumbled a few words to my parents and collapsed in bed.

Today I’m worried. As of this Monday I was 1/4 of the way to my weight loss goal, down almost 14 pounds. Now? I may have gained 1 or 2 back and part of me wants to freak out at that. I won’t, though, because I learned something great yesterday.

As much as old eating habits can come back, I’m already at the point where they don’t come back as easily and I can recognize how bad they are. In ways, it’s not always about whether or not you have an unhealthy meal, or an unhealthy day. There may be set backs, you may have trouble, but really, it’s about what you do before and after that counts. I had been good for most of the week leading up to Friday and Saturday.

And today, I had a healthy breakfast and I’m going to yoga.

I am the Tallahassee* of habit-fighting.

* That’s a Zombieland reference. If you haven’t seen it, go see it. NOW.

10 & Down

Sun, 18 Apr 2010 17:43:14 -0400

I’m down 10 pounds. It’s kind of a magic number, 10. It sounds nice and even. My nutritionist called it a “decade,” which makes it sound kind of fun and epic.

For women, I believe it’s a size. For men…not sure. Maybe a waist size? 2 inches off the waist maybe? My pants are fitting distinctly looser, which is nice. I will need new belts soon, and probably new pants as well. Cause, you know, I definitely needed more expenses. Though in this case I think I’m okay with that.

This isn’t the lowest or thinnest I’ve been ever. But it is the lowest I’ve been in…probably 2 years or so. Another 10 pounds and I’ll be the lowest I’ve been since university.

Shit’s getting real.

The change is, in ways, a little scary. I am definitely making sacrifices. Well, that sounds too epic, really. Making different food choices or holding off in some ways is not really a huge sacrifice. But it is a really big life style change for me. And the stakes are high.

This is the first time I’ve consistently lost weight in years, particularly without intense exercise. In ways that’s the bigger deal. I don’t wanna fuck this up. I want to do this and do this right until it becomes second nature.

I feel like I want to do this til I can relax, but that doesn’t really work, does it? Diets are only good for temporary weight loss. Without a serious change to eating habits you just go right back to the way you were. And what’s the point in that?

I think that’s what scares me, too. Just becoming another weight loss statistic, one of the 80% (statistic is an estimate) of people who lose weight, only to gain it back after, or gain back more. I can’t let myself be that guy. I have to do better.

Weigh in again tomorrow. While I haven’t been perfect this weekend, I’ve been pretty good. We’ll see.

Stop.

Sun, 11 Apr 2010 22:44:43 -0400

After a bit of a gain from Easter, my weight loss has gotten back on the right track. I’ve been eating better, and generally feeling better, although still, occasionally, a bit hungry. Really I can’t expect not to. I am noticing a lot of little moments, where I would have eaten something without thinking, where I now stop and usually, don’t eat.

I’m also noticing my life has not suddenly changed for the better.

So in response to that I’ve been going harder. Not just in nutrition, but in everything in life. Every minute is prescribed for some task or meeting, nearly every moment is used for some kind of money-making venture. I’m super busy and doing what society says I should be doing in my mid-20s.

And I’m bored.

And I’m frustrated.

Earlier today U2’s “Running To Stand Still” came on my iPhone, and I thought “Yup, that’s where I am.” It hit me very suddenly. I am doing exactly that. I’m running, but…I’m not really getting anywhere. I’m making money, yes. And some of what I’m doing is valuable experience.

But I’m competing against these ghosts of people with greater business acumen then I have, with the classmates who are making more than I am, with the ones who are married and have fancy condos and houses. I’m working harder for…what? I don’t really care about business, and I don’t think it really runs the world. People do, pure and simple, and I care about people. Money? Fuck it. If you gave me the choice between working an 80 hour week and earning double what I make now or working a 40 hour week and staying where I am, I’d pick stay where I am. Married with a condo?

K, you got me there, that, yeah, I want. But there are limits to how much of that I can do on my lonesome.

I used to think I could do a lot of this if I really wanted to, I just don’t want to. I built my entire identity around infinite ability.

We all like to think we’re special, and unique. And when we’re told we’re not, it’s framed in some kind of post-hippie, depressing, Chuck Palahniuk-style revelation.

I don’t think even Palahniuk meant it that way.

(Sidebar: Must watch Fight Club again soon).

When you start to realize that you aren’t unique, you aren’t special, it’s freeing. When you stop trying to compete with some ideal, to match up to the boy down the street, you can start figuring out what you really want to do, and maybe it’s something he can do, and maybe it isn’t. Competing just to be better is bullshit. Going and going just to go is ridiculous. You end having to run just to stand still.

So I’m stopping. I’m going to figure out where I want to go, and I’m going to go. But no more of this working for the sake of work. No more filling time just to fill time. And no more competition.

I am not a beautiful or unique snowflake.

A Phone Call From Burnout

Tue, 06 Apr 2010 10:00:00 -0400

bring bring bring bring

Tom: Hello?

Burnout: Hi Tom, it’s Burnout!

Tom: Wow! How’re you doing? I haven’t seen you since…oh, when was it?

Burnout: That Christmas you were working two retail jobs and 60 hour weeks?

Tom: Oh yeah that was it!

Burnout: Just wanted to let you know I’m going to be dropping by.

Tom: Oh, you know, this isn’t really a convenient time. I’ve got tons of stuff going on right now-

Burnout: Yeah, I don’t care. I’m crashing on your couch.

Inspiration, Jason Bourne and The Ones That Got Away

Sun, 04 Apr 2010 19:11:14 -0400

I went up half a pound my last time at the nutritionist.

She told me this was fairly normal after my huge initial weight loss, reminded me that muffins are essentially the least healthy thing you can eat, and sent me on my way. While I was slightly deflated, I took it in stride. I was already fitting into some things I hadn’t in a while, and was seeing encouraging numbers on the scale. Besides, it was only half a pound.

Then it was a friend’s birthday at a place with great pub food.

Then it was Easter dinner.

Then it was Easter with so much candy and chocolate.

So I’d be willing to bet good money I’ll be up tomorrow as well. I did try and go for a run today, and I am doing my best outside the candy, so…we’ll see how much I’m up.

It’s like any habit, though. You fall off, and you get back on.

So I’m going to watch a badass movie first. What’s a badass movie, you ask? I’m glad you asked.

These are movies featuring badass people that I admire. Well, let’s qualify that. These are, generally, fictional people, doing things that I in no way ever want to do. Jason Bourne is a great example of this, so is Bond in Casino Royale, Don Draper in Mad Men, George Clooney’s character in Up In The Air, the real Ewan MacGregor in Long Way Round/Down and Joshua Jackson’s character in One Week. Some of it is physical badassery, like being able to overcome great physical obstacles and take down superior enemies, while some of it is more mental badassery or style-based badassery. But these things inspire me. I know I will never fit in a suit the way Don Draper does, and I will never be able to take down multiple armed enemies the way Jason Bourne does. But I can get a little closer if I focus on my goals and work at it. And while martial arts is not really something I want to pursue, that level of physical excellence is inspiring. All these things make me think that if I work hard and keep at it, I can and will be able to do some of the things they do.

The other thing that gets me back on the wagon is girls.

I know, I know, I should do this for myself, not for others. And I am, for the most part. But a large part of why I’m doing this to feel more confident in my own skin.

And so for inspiration, I do occasionally think back on the ones who got away. I have some old pictures I rifle through, I seek out a mutual friend and find out what one of these girls is up to. There’s a couple who I always liked, but never got up the courage to approach. The way they acted, held themselves, the things they accomplished, all inspired me to be a better person and made me want to have this awesome person in my life. I wanted to be more like them and wanted to be able to measure up, so I could have the courage to chat them up and see what happened.

Odds are I would have put these girls on pedestals and it never would have worked anyway. But they serve as inspiration. I’ve dated some amazing girls, but it’s the ones I never tried for that both haunt, and drive me to do more, to be better. So that the next time I meet one of those, I’ll be ready.

Cause they always, always, come out of nowhere.

Leo Babauta on the iPad

Sun, 04 Apr 2010 18:00:29 -0400

Leo Babauta on the iPad:

I can see his point. For me, I can see the use case ever since I’ve started thinking about it. But for him, it’s not really a sell. I’d be curious to see him revisit this in six months. Many have said that the coolest stuff that this thing will be able to do is still coming, and I can see that.

Also, for those unfamiliar with his Mnmlist blog, check it out just for the web design. Really unique and, unsurprisingly, minimalist.

Caring For Your Introvert

Tue, 30 Mar 2010 17:26:43 -0400

Caring For Your Introvert:

Not all dead on for me, but generally pretty true.